life getting in the way and the solo artists struggles

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Hello Dear Friends

From Within the Heart of the Earth- a Yin cave meets the Ocean

Sometimes despite our best intentions and our plans, life gets in the way. I did an experiment a while back on facebook live asking people about what they do when life gets in the way, then I proceeded to write some lyrics and real time start a composition live, (it is incomplete). It was an interesting experiment, those who are friends on  facebook could find it if they went back through my video posts from nearly a couple of years ago.

I have been going through a bit of a slump. Wrote off my car, a new love  came and then faded as suddenly as it came leaving me questioning many things. Now the house I live in is up for sale and I may lose my studio. Real estate where I live is not  inexpensive anymore and I am terribly anxious about whether I will have a studio into the future and certainly don’t have the money to move. Where does that leave me? very anxious,  The album? Still in progress. I will need help for it and honestly don’t know what support I may get from crowdfunding. But it will be finished. Change is a universal constant, yet I am feeling like I need to go to battle stations to defend my territory, the first home I have ever really had, ( a decade) where all my work has been reaching completion and I don’t want to surrender it just because someone else has the illusory title that says they own  the land and occupancy. But who knows what may come next may be better, it would be nice to have heating.

So I am having a slight break and looking at music business studies (when my head space permits).

I have 3 gigs coming up but have not been able to bring myself to sing or play. When life stuff happens of the deeper nature I tend to retreat deep and lose my voice, not physically but the will to keep at it. Grief sits heavy on my chest.

Here is the link to the events on 30th November, 31st December and 30th January

There is work in progress. I just updated my video editing software so now have the capacity to do better audio edits within the software with plug ins etc which means I can hopefully  attempt to bring you a workable edit of my play performance By the Mandate of Heaven from two years ago. To do this is massive as I have the live video, the video I made for the performance, narrator audio and lots of audio samples, it is a creative challenge. The video footage is great 4k but it will test my skills and involve lots of Youtube tutorial training. No one else can do it as they don’t know the sequence of triggers I used for my scroll text presentations or the audio samples. This was what gave birth to this album (as I have said before) with  the song I Am (Song of the Earth).

I did a day trip to location scout for the film clip I want to make for the album, but it will have to wait  till 1. I have the allies and 2. cooler weather, (as we are going into peak season and the spots I want to use will most likely be too populated. I must have adequate assistance for the way I want to present the video, it is essential, and it will require multiple day trips, which I question who is going to do that for modest payment or the love of? My scouting trip showed me the possible issues I may face on site as I am learning about filming as I go. I may be able to get away with some green screen but a lot of it must be done on site. So time will tell. It will also be tricky to get it done before my intended release date if I hope to also get a team together to launch it for a special event. So, there is a great deal of uncertainty. How I wish I had the money to just pay people and my own production company.

I think when I was younger it was easier for me to express my troubles and angst through music and it is all those tracks I still have to record and produce to bring to you. Now I find it harder. My struggle has been expressed through a lot of soppy love poetry, but I am finding my enthusiasm waning. I am committed to my journey as an artist but it is most certainly not a glamorous  one or an easy road. any artists will tell you it is tough, hard to break through, hard to do everything that must be done yourself. Hard to build a team around you. But the show must go on.


To bare the weight of the ache
Of the hearts longing
As deep as a well
Parched by drought and denied by time
The heart is no more than a sacrifice
A quaint notion
An illusion
Like an oasis in desert sands
Ready to embrace your bones
Better it be pierced open and bled
Than blocked and fortified like a castle
Even pain is a sweet nectar,
Yet still I am denied love
Why must it be forbidden me?
Pierced with no salve
Bleeding for the one.

I have made all my Composers Thoughts on Craft videos live, there is a play list. The exclusive thing was not working. So they are all at the link below, there are issues with sync that I have now resolved, it was frame rate stuff, so every video from my smart phone from now on has to be converted and that should eliminate the problem, so I apologize for  things being out of sync. I’d love to know what you think of the content and if there is anything you would like me to talk about. I still have another seven blogs to write and two videos to do for the series..

You can find the videos here

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