I’ve created a new playlist on my You Tube channel called Studio Vlogs, archives, live streams etc, with unreleased songs, gig rehearsals, footage, live streams, studio chats and all sorts, with content going back to probably 2010, so 15 years. It also includes Symbols in Sounds band content and work related to my performance art and plays. It’s basically a behind the scenes of the artists life. They have been published going out regularly since January, with a lot more to upload. I hope to produce and release all the work one day, but it requires time and resources, resources I don’t have right now, as the focus is my body and soul recovering. That is also why the delays for the Resurrected Music videos. Examples below

It’s been quite a while since I posted. My life has been  in intensive rehab mode. Now I am set back again, thanks to an unfortunate rear end road accident, now there’s more to deal with and longer rehab, my hands are numb and tingly as  the limbs you use for driving took full impact, good thing I am super resilient and this path is not new to me, but one I have walked all my life with extensive trauma history. There were times many long years where it was only my own efforts that put me back together, I have had to rebuild myself so many times.

Rebuilding when you are already in extreme social disadvantage and living with long term disablitiies that are not adequately recognised is hard. Systems are strained to breaking point, waiting lists long, social and ecnomic disparity is real, if you don’t have health insurance it complicates life extending the recovery time, which is why many don’t recover. I Am the exception to the rule, many of my peers never made it out alive.

Battling incapacity as a musician and artist who needs their arms and body to work properly is challenging, made more so when the system does not recognise the extent of it. I try and live by my Masters moto ‘Strong spirit, strong mind, strong body’, but when the body is damaged it is hard, because I can’t do what I used to be able to do. Thankfully, I am spirit led and it is my relationship with the Most High  that gets me through. It is my ability to train, Martial Arts is my therapy and an official therapy method, but I have seen no one advertising such a service specifically, it is needed desperately, especially for women who have experienced sexual or physical abuse and victims of crime. It’s  my calling that gets me through just like music and the arts. Having to navigate the system and wear the labels it loves to give, oh what fun. Physician Heal Thyself.

I could say so so much more but we will leave it there for now.

I hope to get help from Bythecat who did the All Souls ep art to help install an Instagram live stream feed, that’s where you can get regular updates. Whilst there is infrastructure set up for emails, I fell off that wagon years ago and haven’t got it off the ground again so forgive me if I haven’t sent you an email and you subscribed. The emotional toll of lifes misfortune has impacted my ability to do my calling. It has been hard to pick up my guitar, very confronting to use a mic.

Drumming has been a great therapy cause the positioning of the arms is not the same as with guitar, throwing your shoulder forward and arching the wrists and fingers. Plus drums are fucking awesome, and I can sing and play at the same time. Real acoustic drums are great for venting rage related to suppression and oppression, and giving you a voice when you have none (autonomy, agency, power relations, authority, self determination and respect for human rights). I have a very telling lyric and drum improv in edit mode just to bring up the lyrics so you can hear them, that will go up soon, but its painful using a mouse and typing, but I want people to know direct from me I AM OK I CAN CONQUER WHATEVER THE UNIVERSE THROWS AT ME – INDOMITABLE SPIRIT, and I am a highly skilled healer who is able to give self what the system can’t. It is a User pays society.

That’s all for now, check it out, enjoy it, like subscribe all that jazz. Sadly when I share, the algorithms will prevent me from reaching people, but this is MY WALL AND THE WRITING ON IT. The pen is mightier that the sword! I have also realised, that I might be better off doing a Podcast and presenting that way via You Tube. I have lots of data to back me up and I will speak up for musicians OHS and Musicians & Artists/ Creatives Mental Health. It is time.

Here’s the whole playlist